TV: Robot Combat League

TV: Robot Combat League

Robot Combat League has a cool name. Unfortunately, that’s about all it has going for it. I think almost anyone contemplating the name would automatically imagine something much more interesting than the reality.

First of all, this is not like the robot competitions that have been going on at universities in the past decade. This is not lawnmower sized machines built by engineering students hacking and cutting at each other. This is not a competition among teams working independent under a few simple constraints. Nope, this is just a supersized version of Rockem Sockem Robots.

All of the robots were built by the same group and have pretty much the same design. Two arms, two legs, hydraulic movement, and rear support beam attached to a dolly. So while they do walk, it’s a hunched over walk, with the beam and dolly providing balance. An umbilical provides power. These are animatrons really, not robots. Each is operated by a team of two. One uses a joystick to operate the legs, making the robot move forward and backward, left and right, but there’s no actual turning. The other operator uses a waldo to move the arms and torso. Since this is a punchout, a lot of camera time is spent demonstrating how the robot’s arms follow the movement of the operator’s arms. The operators are referred to as the “robo pilot” and “robo tech” I forget which is which.

There is an anonymous staff of referees and mechanics, plus a moderator, one Chris Jericho. Jericho is a professional wrestler with lots of experience in over hyped commentating. Also he was in a movie once playing an industrial service robot who enters a pit fighting match and gets beaten to death by ticked off factory worker.

The competitors do a lot of bragging. “I actually built robots for NASA.” “I’m a combat helicopter pilot, I can handle powerful machines.” “I’m a professional auto racer, I’ve got lightning reflexes and nerves of steel.” “I play a lot of video games.” “My dad is George Lucas.” But come on-- engineering knowledge means very little if you didn’t build the machine. Not to mention, the machines on Mars are real robots, with intelligence and autonomy. And the only physical skill you need is the ability to play Tag. Strategy does help, but only a little.

`As I said, the robots are built very similarly. The differences are meant to interest the audience. This one has extra heavy fists. This one has a longer reach. This one has thicker armor. This one has minimal armor but it’s fast.

So rockem sockem. The upper body operators yell to their partners: Charge! Back off! Right! Left!. Sometimes their partners respond in perfect synchronization. Swing those arms— it’s a hit! Sparks fly when a fist connects, but that’s just for show. The cover pieces, which are referred to as armor, get knocked off, which makes no difference except that the hydraulics get exposed. Damaged hydraulics limit a robot’s movement. “That left arm is dangling uselessly!” Jericho unnecessarily informs us. Oh and the hydraulic fluid is slippery, so a robot standing in its own blood loses traction. So far none has actually fallen, but that’s surely coming.

A match is three rounds. In between there are 20 minutes for repairs. The staff does most of that but the operators usually do some. Mostly it’s tightening bolts, replacing broken hydraulics, refilling the hydraulics, and popping back on the fender like armor pieces— if they aren’t too badly bent. The important thing is that if there is a lot of damage, there will not be time to fix everything. Unequal scoring in the first round often leads to the worse of robot being rendered totally disabled in the second. That’s referred to as a knockout.

But, and here’s my biggest complaint, there is no duct tape! What kind of supposedly engineering/geeky competition has no duct tape? With duct tape you could have those twisted armor pieces back on in 5 seconds. You could cover that crack, splint that rod, reinforce that pressure seal. Jury rigging is the true test of machine related skills, not part swapping.

I had a really old car once that developed engine trouble. The mechanic said that the head gasket wasn’t properly sealed because the cover was warped. Replacing the cover would have been really expensive, not to mention the downtime while waiting for delivery. So instead the mechanic took a head gasket of a thicker size and shaved it down to match the bend in the cover. Worked nicely. That’s the kind of activity I want to see in a robot match.

Otherwise, it’s about as “technical” as crashing model trains.